Pacing for effective caregiving

One of the dilemmas I face is how to care without feeling burnout.

What my mother wants is that I sit near her all day, holding her hand. I cannot do it. I could do it for a day or two, maybe a week or two tops. But not month after month.  Not an year, two years, three. And burning out or getting resentful won’t help, because I’ll end up giving up just when her need for me goes up.
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the pacing chosen for caregiving–sprint, long-distance, marathon

The work of caregiving is unending. You can always think of one more thing to make the patient happier/ better/ content.  Perfect caregiving is not an achievable goal, especially for patients suffering from a progressively degenerative, incurable problem like dementia. After all, the patient’s well-being is not merely dependent on care given.

So, how can we pace caregiving–as a sprint, a long distance race, or a marathon?

When I started caregiving, lots of people gave me advice on what else I should do. They told me what I should feed her (including lots of elaborate recipes), how much time I should spend with her (all), how I should take her for outings (as often as possible), and so on. Implementing their suggestions would take 24 hours a day, and I’d be forced to cut out mundane stuff like bathing her and keeping her clean, paying her bills, filing her tax returns, or tracking her medical checkups and doctor visits.
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