August 31, 2012 Leave a comment
After my mother’s death and my blog entry on how I had donated her eyes, brain and body, I got several queries on body donation. I had planned to do a full-fledged well-researched entry with data on the topic but as I’ve not yet got time for the full entry, I am doing a quick post – talking about what I consider the most important factors in being able to donate one’s body after death.
This post is about the importance of being prepared.
You see, no one expects death to happen. Even when we see someone obviously declining, we are still unprepared for the actual stopping of breath. When that happens, there is a shocking finality to it. And in that shocked state most of us slip like automaton into the stuff that follows.
Luckily for the just-bereaved, there are people around who help. These people–relatives, friends, neighbors, and colleagues—they call the doctor for the certificate, they dress up the body, they spread the word and even handle the condolence calls. These people find out about the nearest crematoriums (or they already have the data), they clear space in the house to place the body so that people can pay their respects, they find out about morgues, and get the municipality forms for registering the death. They know which priests to contact. The bereaved may have to provide some preferences and criteria (I want to wait for so-and-so relative to arrive first type of things), but a lot of the organizational nitty-gritty depends upon the community expertise immediately made available. People even take over the cleaning of the house and the arranging of tea or food or whatever.
Most of what follows the death thus goes according to the typical script. The relatives arrive, things are done in ways that are acceptable to the community. Everyone needs to pay respects, everyone tries to get closure.
So what’s this got to do with body donation?
The point is, there is no large pool of knowledge or experience for potential body donating families to draw upon at the time of death. Relatives and friends (who know what to do under normal last-rituals situations) are clueless on how to help for the alternate form of disposal: body donation. They are unsure of what’s going on, and perhaps unprepared or outright uncomfortable with this deviation from the norm. Relatives who were unaware that the family may consider body donation may mutter a protest or withdraw because of their discomfort. That adds to the overall awkwardness and tension.