July 26, 2011 6 Comments
Some days ago, I was asked whether dementia awareness had improved over these last few years in India. Not an easy question to answer, for two major reasons. One, I don’t socialize much, and most people I end up meeting are people I know because I am a caregiver and a volunteer in dementia care — obviously a biased sample. Two, even when I do get to meet other people, I don’t really go around surveying them to understand the level of dementia awareness.
But I do have some recent anecdotes to narrate – all these instances happened in the last few months.
Earlier, when I met people outside my dementia care circles, I would not mention my caregiver role in any detail. All I’d say was that my mother needed care. This was because I found most people uncomfortable with any mention of illness, and anyway they did not understand dementia. Even a factual statement from me about what occupied a large portion of my life was enough to make them start avoiding me, as if getting pulled into a caregiver role is contagious. But for the last two years, as I have increased my blogging and my volunteer work in dementia care, if someone asks me what I “do”, I say I am a caregiver and that I also do volunteer work in the area of dementia care. This has led me to some of the experiences that I am sharing below.
I have qualified in engineering and management from reputed institutions, and worked in well-known organizations before starting my own consulting practice. So there are people who expect me to be a “professional” and whom I meet in various alumni meets. It was in one such alumni party that I met a high-profile social worker, whom I shall call ”Cee”. A person in the mid-50s, with a family that included parents and elderly in-laws, Cee spends most of the time helping some big volunteer organizations with their strategy, getting them funding, doing advocacy – things like that.
Cee and I got talking, and I tried to understand more of what Cee was doing. I was asked, in turn, about my own work and career, and I explained that I was a dementia caregiver and volunteer. Cee looked blank at the word “dementia.” So hey, I have practice on this, and I gave Cee a very simple explanation of what dementia was. Blank. I gently pointed out that, as Cee lived with four elders in their seventies and eighties, and probably knew many others in that age group, perhaps this could be relevant, because otherwise Cee and family could mistake early stages of dementia with normal ageing, and thus miss the window where treatment was effective. Also, there are reversible dementias.
Cee was polite, and made the usual, social comments, but I did not sense any real interest or curiosity. I was a bit disappointed; to me, Cee was the profile that needed to be aware of dementia — because of age, living with elders in high-risk age groups, and because of Cee’s social work background. But I reminded myself that dementia is probably not appropriate party talk, and we exchanged e-mail ids and moved on to the food tables. We sent each other emails later, and I repeated a few basics of dementia and gave links in case Cee wanted to read up more, but I got a feeling that Cee felt that dementia was irrelevant to Cee’s personal situation, and just another sphere of social work.
At the next alumnus meet, I encountered another person (let me call this person ”Dee”). When, at introduction time, I mentioned that I was a dementia caregiver and volunteer, Dee took me aside. “Tell me, if you don’t mind,” said Dee. “What is the difference between Alzheimer’s and dementia?” Over the next hour, we nibbled at snacks as I explained things about dementia and answered Dee’s questions.