A sense of loss

Losing a memory is horrible; it is as if a part of oneself is lost, because ultimately, our sense of identity is an integration of all the memories and thoughts we hold close to us.

It is also horrible to find oneself wanting to remember something, and not being able to, and not having anyone who can help us fill up the gap. And I am not only talking of what a person suffering from dementia feels; we all have experienced this some time or the other. Perhaps that is why we like to have around us, for at least some of the time, people with whom we have “shared memories”.

This fact came home to me some months after my father died. I was on my evening walk, and suddenly remembered an incident of the past, but could not remember some of the details. It’s okay, I thought, I’ll go home and ask my father. Then I remembered that my father was dead.
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